For What It Is
These are my dark and depressing thoughts and feelings on how I see the world for what it truly is.
I finally got a chance at something I never would’ve thought I could ever have. I just really really hope it doesn’t get ripped away from me like everything else
I don’t know if it’s just me, my anxiety or my weird need to know things to help better soften the blow. But I have an overwhelming need to know if we last. It doesn’t need last forever forever but our own special kind of forever I guess. I don’t want to end blindsided one day. Completely heartbroken and destroyed. Because meeting you wasn’t apart of the plan. The plan was to disappear for good by a certain time but I meet you. The plan is always there in the back of my mind. But you and a few special others make just want to throw the whole plan away.
One more week and I keep getting mixed feelings about it
I’ve always been late with stuff in life. A total late bloomer. But now I have a few things in life that I never thought possible for me, I don’t know what to do. So many new things happened for me last year that I always thought was impossible for me. But this was supposed to be last year. The year I decided to go. The year that I needed to go but I don’t know if I should stay. Am I even allowed to do that?
I have begun to experience things in life that I never thought possible for me if I didn’t stay like I did.
Why do I feel like I want this more than you do
